For all I know, the past few months were all filled with great and idle moments.
It was great for I had an ample amount of exposure towards different culture, travel to various places and most importantly, spending time with my sister’s family. Yes, these all happened amidst my constant battle whether to post them or not. Unfortunately, I am yet to post any of them. 😉
On the other hand, I never felt so dependent until I lived in a foreign land, shared the same house, same food and same transportation. Whenever there’s an errand, it’s easier to go out without having to wait for a public utility vehicle because everything is near we can walk to it by ourselves. After all, commuting isn’t everyday thing because aside from me choosing to stay at home more often, they have their own personal vehicle to use and a person to run errands. It was more of a “convenient life” and there’s no way on complaining about it.
Since my mind often travels on fast forward basis, I’d like imagining things which are yet to happen. Examples are my life after this “vacation phase”, where will I be at that moment and the necessary steps I need to take to make sure things will go accordingly as planned, despite its abrupt halt.
Unfortunately, these thoughts linger day by day. Anxiousness started to arise as I am naturally uncomfortable when things are going so smooth and enjoyable. I have the tendency to think that sooner, everything will change- may it be in my favor or simply against me. In Psychology, it’s called Cherophobia. Though I’m not professionally diagnosed as one, I can easily associate myself through several write ups like this article.
Anyhow, I’d like to think that it only exist in my mind but at the same time, I wouldn’t want myself to be mediocre by simply letting myself drown in idleness. Good thing, a lot of things happen and I’m very glad it slowly took my anxiousness away.
Thus, I ended my 2016 with a decision to risk on a job employment which was offered to me. I risked to leave my sister who needs me more in exchange of a “possibility” that I can be of her service for few more months should my mission becomes successful. I risked my way on coming back to my homeland without any guarantee of return. It was a bold move all due to my personal aspirations and family which truly matters. No one knows what’s going to happen.
Eventually, something happened.